The Balancing Act Called Life

To make some sort of life in this world all of us need to specialize in something. It used to be a University Degree, but now it can take the form of a Trade or specialized skill to become a professional in your field. Doing this can set you up in life.

However, we can be sucked into this and loose so many aspects of life. Recently I have been so caught up in running my gym, sorting out budgets, finances and Planning for the future. I have also been training really hard and making sure my rest and recover is on point. I would love to visit international Sanctioned CrossFit events and chasing something like that takes a lot of time. Yesterday though I got pretty shaken up.

I send my sincere condolences and heartfelt sympathies to the family of the man who was shot and killed yesterday in Witbank. I didn't know any of you and don't pretend to, but just know that your story has shocked our town.

In order to save time, when I dropped my girlfriend off at work yesterday, I decided to take my running shoes with and go for a run when I got there. I had running intervals on the menu and it took me about an hour and 15 minutes to complete. Unbeknown to me. A block from where I was running a man was she and killed in his own house at 8:30 or there about in the morning.

I didn't know until later that day when everybody at the gym was telling me. It shocked me.

I started to think about the man, his family, his life his goals, and of that I know very little so the only logical similarities I could draw was with my own life.

Would I be content to walk out of this world now?

I must have stopped typing for at least 10 minutes thinking about that question and still I try to convince myself yes, but deep in my heart I still say, No.

The stress of your field of profession could have pulled you in so far that you have forgotten about the small things around you. The things that used to give you a sense of adventure and joy. I can feel it. And let me tell you, I am living my dream, I am in a job I am completely passionate about!

So how does this happen? if you figure it out, please tell me. But, I think, it starts in the future...the worry of it leads us so far into things we have control over. Much of our life is hard work yes, and it pays off, but much of it is half chance. Losing a contract, stock market crashes, government instability, death, so much can change over night, so much that can leave us at the will of outside circumstances. So we take out insurances and policies to hedge against it, spending money and energy on the unforeseen future. If you know me, you know I stress about the future, i am the first to try save and plan and as I get older i do it more.

But what if, we could take the foot off the gas once in a while. Take a weekend away. Plan a trip, do something you love, do something special with somebody you love? Will that destroy your whole world? On the contrary I think it may recover a sense of ourselves that we haven't seen in ages.

Today Im not giving you advise...I am rather giving myself advise, and if you would like to write some advise to your older self that you will be thankful for, well do that!
But here goes: To Myself:

Never forget that life can change instantly whether you think you are in control or not. Don't forget to use the 24 hours in your day to smile. Don't forget to look inside yourself for guidance, you know yourself the best, stop caring to much about other opinions of how you should run your life. Love yourself, look after yourself and then trust that the guidance you set yourself will lead to a thing of beauty! Take time out to review where you are going and if you are on the path you want to be. Find something in life you love and enjoy and never forget it, you owe yourself small pleasures because in these pleasure you can serve the world in your job even better than you already are, because you will be happier, you will know more and you will understand more.

I f you had x (years, days, months) to live, what would you change now...it may not even be an external change, it may be a way of thinking.

Peace.

Standing on your own two feet

I have flirted with a line of people pleasing and following my own dreams for most of my life. Last year was an incredibly difficult year in terms of business decisions, social decisions and career path decisions. In rough detail I would like to explain things that happened, perhaps it can save you a lot of pain in your own life.

I used to have this idea, as many people do, that contacts and people determine your altitude in life. This meant I needed to keep everyone happy, share everything with everyone and create meaningful relationships to possibly get "opportunities" handed down to me. The problem was, it worked, it led to most of my opportunities in life so far, especially in terms of my adventure. Until it all comes crashing down...

If it wasn't for my unfiltered time alone I would have never learnt how to enjoy myself, my thoughts and who I was. We have the power to be who we want to be. 

I was for the first time in my life shunned for the decisions I made for myself and not for others. When this happened it led to a whirlwind of backstabbing, gossiping and some disgraceful emails, messages and comments that I hope I will never come out for the sake of the people that sent them.

If you struggle with something like this I would suggest:

- Deleting all your social media platforms: 
Find out who your real friends are and who will stick with you when times are tough, it may take some months to eradicate the weeds from your life but eventually you will have a handful of good people in your life. Never forget how those people stood by you when times are tough, but also never let them manipulate you into doing things that aren't right for you just because they were there for you.

- Remove yourself: 
This would mean from social circles and the things you usually do. Are you doing these things for you or has it just become habit. You will find out sooner or later. Spend time with yourself. Read and explore your mind and hobbies again and try with everything in you to learn how to love yourself

- Learn how to say "no": 
If you were like me it was incredibly difficult to say no because I always thought this would come around to bite me and I would miss out on crucial opportunities. Newsflash, you are doing it for the wrong reasons anyway.

I used the best part of a year to retreat and concentrate on my book about Africa and cycling through it to break the Guinness World Record. It was something that I was incredibly proud of but last year had come to doubt myself and what I really was. The year of introspection lead me on a new path.

Remember that people don't rule you, never let people emotionally black male you or manipulate you to get what they want or to hold you back. When last did you say "Fuck off" to somebody who didn't fit into your life and had no right to voice an opinion over your life? Be careful of people who try get to close to you for ulterior reasons. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" is one of the most genius manners of controlling people.

I had a friend who had been dating his girlfriend for about 3 years. When he broke up with her his best friend and christian m
entor consoled him and gave him advise on how to move forward through his life. He had been with him from the beginning to the end. One day it came out that it was his best friend who had been sleeping with his girlfriend all along. I can't imagine that, but I find it even more fascinating how naive we as humans can be.

 It may be mean to think The truth is I was so scared to ever say that because of the way I was brought up. I used to think it was my morals that stopped me from saying that, but actually its the fear of what people might think of you, because we all know, we think that at some stage in our life. People need to earn their trust, as do you, so always be honest, even if that means having people turn against you or judge you for your decisions.

Have courage to make bold decisions, scary decision regardless of what anybody say or thinks about it. You have this one life and I truly believe it is a gift to create in it something meaningful that you would like to do.

Everyday I get the opportunity to point people in a good direction in terms of health and making a positive difference in their life. I see people losing 30 kilograms in two months, putting on muscle, doing hand stand walks and hand stand push ups and the biggest message I always try put through it that you can be the conductor to the positive change you want to make in your life and you have the freedom to chose that. Regardless of race to religion, you are not at the will of the waves of life, you have an opportunity to do something and make a difference.

CrossFit and Faith

When I started CrossFit in the empty concrete shell we now call CrossFit Mammoth  I was astonished to discover that there were no mirrors on any of the walls, not even in the bathrooms. I saw no makeup, no ego's, and a community full of love! Months down the line, it all started to change and the sport I once fell in love with started to appear just like another egotistical money making movement.

I thought about this, and came to a couple of ideas. Of all the people I have spoken to, a crossFit box has either experienced a great hurt, is going to experience a great hurt (without intentionally seeking grace and healing) or is in the process of going through some hurt. Pain, hurt, call it what you want, we all know its real.

Myself and Francois competing this weekend

This weekend I had the privilege of attending a great competition at the Silver Star Casino hosted by CrossFit BST and what an event it was, however it didn't start all that well. The registration arrived and the competition looked lean and mean and like absolute machines. Immediately the comparison monster showed its head in my mind. I was looking left and right to see where I measured up, who I was better than and who I was lacking behind. My spirit dropped, my head dropped, my nerves increased and I felt a little unworthy. I had an opportunity to walk back to the car to fetch some things and just paused to pray. "God please fill me with you, may your mercy and grace just fill me, may it always be more than enough, may you over flow in me."

I sat and listened to some music and felt the whisper louder than any thought could imagine.
"You are my creation, made perfect, washed clean, so worthy, so brave, so strong, so amazing..."
The concert the night before, Bethal Music, had been a blessed experience and one song came into my mind and it went a little something like this, "Your love, never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me..."

Suddenly I felt that this place of comparison was a hospital for the broken, not a flexing of fitness for the strong. Event the best in the sport were struggling with divorce, unworthiness, lust, and many other things they didn't want to be wrestling with.
In Romans 7, Paul desperately seeks to understand his heart, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15 
He hates what he does, yet still does it. All of a sudden I felt in that position, I wanted to be at peace, enjoy the competition, be friendly and be a light to anybody seeking grace and forgiveness and healing yet I was falling into the trap of comparing myself. 

Perhaps your reading this, perhaps you sick of not being good enough! Perhaps you are tired of anger and comparison and a life that seems to hard to bear...I have a small testimony I would love for you to read. 

"You're not shrugging," I heard a voice after my snatch in the warm up arena.
It was minutes before my second workout with my team on day two. A snatch ladder consisting of a one rep max snatch. 
I had two options, embarrassment, that my technique was lacking, or humility to put "Keegan" a side and try learn. 
I dropped the bar and walked over to a large guy sitting in the corner stretching for his own workout. I hunched forward trying to speak to him over the speakers pumping music for the heat that was in the arena.
"Say again," I tried to look serious but was so happy to be able to learn a new thing
"You need to extend your arms and shrug and then pull, don't start pulling to early, finish your pull." 
It made perfect sense. I thanked him and asked if he would watch me again. I focussed and tried again focusing this time, letting the weight fly above my head before punching it into a lock position as I dropped into a squat position. Full rep, comfortable, happy! 
I walked over again and we started chatting about my snatches first, then about my shirt "CrossFit Mammoth" and then about his own box he used to own. I fed off every word trying to take tips and advise in running a business and where to find resources and was just so grateful for him. 

Rewind to a moment: Take offense and ignore advise vs take yourself less seriously, learn a thing or two. What an honor! 

I stepped out into the arena and competed hard and at the end landing a rep 5kgs lower than my personal best I had only snatched 3 times in my life. I walked out sweating, shoulders on fire but content. Fortunately I managed to get round to the next heat to watch my new friend attempting his last snatch at 110kg! Just before he stepped to the bar, he raised both his fingers in acknowledgment to the heavens then executed the perfect snatch. I had goosebumps! 
Here was a man learning to Give God the glory for everything. 
Afterwards I spoke to him about it and he confirmed his faith and stance on Jesus. 
"Praise Jesus for you man!" I was literally fighting back tears, his life, attitude and passion was the fruit of his faith and it was making a difference in the world. 

I then read a piece again I had written the night before at the Bethal Music praise and worship evening about myself and how God revealed to me, what this life is really about: 

"Yes Lord?"
"Get on your knees, feel the earth underneath you,"
He sunk in awe as the magnificence of his God hovered and twisted and danced and dived in the everything, in the presence and in the nothingness between...the spirit was moving.
"pick up the dirt..." he heard the whisper louder than the voices, gentler than the breeze.

The earth slid between his fingers still wet from his tears. He rubbed it feeling it, there was a part of it he felt one with.
"a day will come, you will return to this dirt, as significant as the delicate cycle that started it, dead, yet so alive..."
His hands trembled dropping the remaining grains of earth onto his lap.
In a moment it was real, he knew life and all he knew about it would pass away, become nothing and one thing would remain...Jesus, the Father, the Holy Spirit, the uncreated one. He knew that every trick in these times would be used to distract him and his friends from that thought and draw them to things that would in centuries have no value. He knew in that moment, only the eternal story would be told.

One thing remains...one thing...his Love.

Some day, we die, our bodies return to the earth, we will be but empty shells. it is remarkable how people think that flesh that grows, hearts that beat and minds that think make us different to an animal or for that sake a plant...all creation big or small gives glory to God, every process every life cycle bows to a creator! One thing is different we have a soul, we have free will, a choice to glorify God through our existence...that choice makes us the crown of creation. The fearfully, knit together creatures in our mothers womb, and as God brought us into this world he loved us and the ball was in our court...what would we do with this gift of life. 

We can write everlasting stories on the pages of our life, ones that can only be read through the fruit of our lives. Jesus gives us life and we get to carry it, it is light, its by no means heavy...if it is, perhaps you are carrying things that you weren't meant to. 

Lets stop looking oft and right for affirmation and acceptance but rather to God, let us rather look left and right to reflect his life, like my friend Andre, whose testimony of who he was, was shown in one moment in time, the smallest of gestures, raising his fingers to the sky to say "Jesus its only you, for your glory!" 

I want to finish with this quote: "That mountain that you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb" 

Lets leave those burdens at the cross once and for all 

My friend Andre snatching 110kg perfectly! 

Taking risks and stepping to success: Ben Carson

I came across Ben Carson's literature a couple of weeks ago while strolling around a local book shop. I had some time to kill so decided to spend it sitting on the comfy leather couches in the store, reading the first chapter of the three different Carson books they had available. This was different to my usual book buying habits which mainly entailed me piling books into a basket, paying astronomical amounts for them (as far as book buying is concerned) and then sitting at home with enormous amount of books, with absolutely no intention of reading them all.

I paged through the first chapter and was highly impressed by the first book, and then highly impressed with the second and again the third. I must have read something wrong so I went back and read all three chapters, yet again being satisfied with all three. Surely you not gonna buy all three books Keegan?

So I ended walking out with all three. I tackled the first book entitled, Gifted hands, two days ago and am on the verge of finishing it. In the first thirty pages or so I had cried like a baby 5 times. 

"Surely you didn't really cry," said my girlfriend as we discussed the first book over some sushi at a local restaurant last night. "Can we not talk about this now, please," I said, tears now welling up in my eyes. I had cried, and cried properly. Carson's childhood was tougher than most of ours and I suppose if you have managed to log onto the internet now with your laptop, smart phone or tablet and  are now reading this, your childhood has definitely been better than old Ben Carson from Detroit.

Thinking most of the crying was done, I came across a a chapter called, A Girl Named Maranda. By now, Ben is the head surgeon at John Hopkins hospital at the age of just 33 and already rising to be a top Neurosurgeon and perhaps one of the greatest that has ever lived. Maranda 4 had travelled across the country with her parents after being rejected at hundreds of hospitals previously.

"Mr.Freeman you are our last hope," said the little girls mom. Maranda sat silently listening, hoping not to have one of her seizures that had become a usual part of her day. Without surgury she would get weaker and die within months. 

"Is that right, we may be able to help you," said Mr Freeman.

And then something interesting happens. Mr Freeman calls Carson in to discuss the girls case and whether and ask him, "have you ever heard of a hemispherectomy, I doubt you have Benny."

"I have, read up about it last week, never done one,"

"Is that right, can you do one, it might save this little girl,"

and then ben says, "it sounds reasonable to me."

Let put this in perspective. This surgery hasn't been done in 20 years, most previous attempts ended in 95% failure and death rate and the success of the patients that did survive were severely mentally handicapped. It is reasonably possible? Seriously? Is my reasonably  possible different to a usual man? I think not!

Ben goes and reads up on the surgery and gains more knowledge in the field, calls in the girls parents and tell them he will do it. He is blatantly honest with them and explains the possible complications that might occur of which the worst is death. 

What an incredible man! So lets break this down. What separates the great from the average?

1) The hunger and will to try:

Ben made it his business to educate himself in fields that weren't even in his expertise. When an opportunity arose, he had read about it the week before. The possibilities that he may have never heard of the surgery procedure may have severely influenced his decision to do the surgery. He is willing to try, he asks not; "what if I fail," he asks,"what happens if I don't try," and the answer was, she would die anyway. 

2) Read, learn grow, never settle:

Ben and his brother had to read two books a week instead of watching tv. Their mom, even though poor and struggling realized that self betterment was a way to succeed in life. now I'm not talking about traditional schooling systems I'm talking about extra work, reading up on topics you have an interest in. Ben said "become a professional, read up on any field you love, it will hold you in good stead on day and it will pay off."

3) Courage:

Be different and always look to try new things. Be accountable for your actions and go out hard knowing that failure is a step forward. Be willing to try, don't sink behind possibility of failure. Stand up, raise your hand and be the one who is willing to put their ego aside and try and possibly fail. For the Lord has not given us a spirit of fear...ever!

I haven't even read about him doing the surgery yet, can you believe it? I just sat down and started writing, inspired by his will to try. Now I know he is one of the worlds greatest and fail or succeed in this next surgery he still becomes great! Will definitely let you guys know how the surgery goes! 

Kunjani