We can't Jelous our way to success

We can't "Jealous" our way to success or "Jealous" somebody out of theirs.

Insecurities in our lives happen for various reasons. Our pasts have more influence on us than we know. Im going to speak about some natural things that maybe happen when other people start gaining success.

Lets say somebody has come into some money, a better job, a sporting success, anything, you name it, the thing you really want that badly. We want it to right? So we immediately think of thats unfair, I wanted that. I think its a natural survival of the fittest deep wired caveman brain thing. That guy hunted and got a deer to eat, I want that deer by any means.

We are not Cavemen anymore and sometimes we need to realize the way we evolved and moved forward was our ability to reason, to share, to adapt and to create new ways of doing things. (Although amidst Corono and how it started we would think that we have gone so far backwards and maybe we have)

But anyway, back to it. Our first reactions can be

- undermining someones success: ah well they had a rich family and his dad owns the company. He was lucky to get an education. He just got lucky.

Somebodies "luck" or what they have achieved doesn't take away from your life, do you know that? Who the fuck cares what luck they have come across by you voicing it and trying to undermine them has it made that situation become yours? Well Bob you are right, he had a great education and got lucky, maybe we should give you the job, thanks for telling us.? Hell No. Its not the way it works.

What affirmations are you looking for in your life that you are looking for so hard that the very thing that was robbed of your life, you are robbing from someone else?

Perhaps nobody told you, you were good enough, now you continue to break people down.

By giving people, what you didn't get (not physical things or money etc) support, you can come across a great realization. That you can be your biggest fan. You can be your own encourager. You can believe in yourself.

Try it! Try and give to people what you never got, especially those looking up to you, see how the world changes. Will you gain success from it, maybe, maybe not, but sometimes gaining confidence, peace, courage are greater than gifts of many other things!

Try to give a little today. Be truly happy for one another success. We are, because others are, if the tribe is strong everyone is strong. Encourage and have somebodies back today rather than letting Jealousy creep in and steal your happiness.

Standing on your own two feet

I have flirted with a line of people pleasing and following my own dreams for most of my life. Last year was an incredibly difficult year in terms of business decisions, social decisions and career path decisions. In rough detail I would like to explain things that happened, perhaps it can save you a lot of pain in your own life.

I used to have this idea, as many people do, that contacts and people determine your altitude in life. This meant I needed to keep everyone happy, share everything with everyone and create meaningful relationships to possibly get "opportunities" handed down to me. The problem was, it worked, it led to most of my opportunities in life so far, especially in terms of my adventure. Until it all comes crashing down...

If it wasn't for my unfiltered time alone I would have never learnt how to enjoy myself, my thoughts and who I was. We have the power to be who we want to be. 

I was for the first time in my life shunned for the decisions I made for myself and not for others. When this happened it led to a whirlwind of backstabbing, gossiping and some disgraceful emails, messages and comments that I hope I will never come out for the sake of the people that sent them.

If you struggle with something like this I would suggest:

- Deleting all your social media platforms: 
Find out who your real friends are and who will stick with you when times are tough, it may take some months to eradicate the weeds from your life but eventually you will have a handful of good people in your life. Never forget how those people stood by you when times are tough, but also never let them manipulate you into doing things that aren't right for you just because they were there for you.

- Remove yourself: 
This would mean from social circles and the things you usually do. Are you doing these things for you or has it just become habit. You will find out sooner or later. Spend time with yourself. Read and explore your mind and hobbies again and try with everything in you to learn how to love yourself

- Learn how to say "no": 
If you were like me it was incredibly difficult to say no because I always thought this would come around to bite me and I would miss out on crucial opportunities. Newsflash, you are doing it for the wrong reasons anyway.

I used the best part of a year to retreat and concentrate on my book about Africa and cycling through it to break the Guinness World Record. It was something that I was incredibly proud of but last year had come to doubt myself and what I really was. The year of introspection lead me on a new path.

Remember that people don't rule you, never let people emotionally black male you or manipulate you to get what they want or to hold you back. When last did you say "Fuck off" to somebody who didn't fit into your life and had no right to voice an opinion over your life? Be careful of people who try get to close to you for ulterior reasons. "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer" is one of the most genius manners of controlling people.

I had a friend who had been dating his girlfriend for about 3 years. When he broke up with her his best friend and christian m
entor consoled him and gave him advise on how to move forward through his life. He had been with him from the beginning to the end. One day it came out that it was his best friend who had been sleeping with his girlfriend all along. I can't imagine that, but I find it even more fascinating how naive we as humans can be.

 It may be mean to think The truth is I was so scared to ever say that because of the way I was brought up. I used to think it was my morals that stopped me from saying that, but actually its the fear of what people might think of you, because we all know, we think that at some stage in our life. People need to earn their trust, as do you, so always be honest, even if that means having people turn against you or judge you for your decisions.

Have courage to make bold decisions, scary decision regardless of what anybody say or thinks about it. You have this one life and I truly believe it is a gift to create in it something meaningful that you would like to do.

Everyday I get the opportunity to point people in a good direction in terms of health and making a positive difference in their life. I see people losing 30 kilograms in two months, putting on muscle, doing hand stand walks and hand stand push ups and the biggest message I always try put through it that you can be the conductor to the positive change you want to make in your life and you have the freedom to chose that. Regardless of race to religion, you are not at the will of the waves of life, you have an opportunity to do something and make a difference.