Heart Break and getting back

We all been through it, a relationship you know you shouldn't have been in that ends worse than you could have ever imagined. From divorce to a long term relationship break up, the scars and open wounds left will be permanent if we never look to heal them.
My biggest blessing and curse is being able to use a lot of words to describe things and really paint a picture for people. However, sometimes you need to tell a huge story in only a few words, so Im going to give it a try.

I believe a break up hurts for two reasons, 1) we crave to be accepted and rejection kills us, and the second 2) we long to give the love we have to someone and when there is nobody else left to share it with, we are left with a deep sense of loneliness.

1) To deal with the first issue is crucial:
We can to be rejected if it is only "love" we have given someone. Love is a free gift, it asks no favors and demands nothing back it gives unconditionally. You are fooling yourself if you think it is love that caused your rejection or lack of it in return. It is an ugly side effect of twisted love in a twised world that cause our hearts to break and usually those things are safety, dependancy, need, greed...the list can go on forever.
A perfect love is the love that formed us in the womb when God created us in the wound, it had no expectation to be loved back. If God expected us to love him back the way he loved us, we would never live up to those expectations. If a God is so big that we can't even grasp his magnitude or form, then how can we even begin to grasp his love, the tiniest piece we do understand leaves us flat on our backs hands raised. So then why do we think we can fully understand love in relationships. The human mind is fascinating we need to have an end point in our mind and draw a conclusion before we can accept an outcome. Whether right or wrong, we seek these illusive and false "conclusions" some of these may include, "he left me because he doesn't love me," or "He cheated on me because she is better," all of these scrape a pin over a glacier compared to what we should really be seeing.
We cannot even begin to fully understand the reason we do things, when we move into relationship we are now trying to figure out two peoples lives and motives, it is simply impossible. But if we stop trying to understand and start trying to "be" we move back under Gods wings of protection.
You are alive, your heart beats, your blood flows which means you are created. Love is that, an opportunity to "be" in an infinite timeline in the works of God. Satan's biggest lie is to magnify your issues to a point where you think its life and every day depends on it. Life is so much more bigger and when you have an opportunity to share in others lives, serve them, love them, appreciate them and build them up, there is no greater gift for both you and them. And that...requires no appreciation in return because very often the feeling the other person feels in their heart towards you is something that can't be explained.

What rejection can you fear if you are loved by God and your identity is dependent only on what Jesus do on the cross? Then you realize that love for you is not conditional and so then your love you give to others is also not conditional, nor can you take it back, nor can it be demanding.
When someone breaks your heart, what if I told you, your love for them doesn't stop. If you loved them for who they are how can what they did destroy that love? I agree that love changes, perhaps you go from lovers to a mild for of care and maybe appreciation but love in itself cannot be taken back, you can't un love. When we say we have stopped loving and taken love back we sort of admit that we have a limited amount of it and we need to be careful where we invest it, what if I told you the supply is unlimited and you don't own it! If you walk around with the idea that you took your love back, the only thing you really take back is broken dreams and promises, you take back pain and bondage and chains. If you can learn to release that love you give freely, never demanding it back, it sets you free.

So you have been through a break up and you feel unloved. Don't jump back into the next one, you have forgotten your identity in Christ I suspect, be patient, don't go chasing love, instead get rooted in theta love Christ has for us. Learn who you are, what you love. Watch a movie, go on a hike, write a poem, go explore, spend some money, save some money, give some away freely, break the cycles or habit and try to spend some time with yourself. Be kind to yourself, love yourself. Chances are you have a lot of regrets and mistakes you could have avoided, so does every other person on earth, but its gone. You cannot learn from your past, if you don't decide to unlearn everything that lead you there.
2) I used to love freely and as soon as someone loved me back I felt I was unworthy of it. I felt I had no right to it. The problem with people like that is perhaps you may have a "people pleaser" problem. You want everyone to like you but inside you feel it is only a show, and when someone really invests in you unconditionally you step away, thinking you are unworthy. A close friend of mine always speak about the "Orphan Mentality" it is a feeling of being unworthy of anything. Of love, of blessing, of gifts of anything. You need to ask why you feel like that and that could go back to a lack of acceptance you may have experienced as a child to a mom and dad or to an older person who cared for you. You may have done anything you could to just be seen and appreciated and felt like if you didn't live up to that expectation maybe they wouldn't cherish you.

How were you treated when you were sick in bed a child? committing perhaps? a fever? who cared for you, who showed you compassion, and did they. Did they believe you were really sick, could it be that they may have thought you were faking? How did you feel? I think that we give out what we so crave and when what we crave comes back to us, we don't know how to deal with it. We need to break that cycle of orphan mentality by learning again your identity in Christ. You are loved endlessly, you deserve every blessing from God and you deserve to be cherished as a child. God is not wrathful or a God of punishment and the sooner we come to know who we are as children deeply rooted in his love, the sooner we can begin to accept blessings on earth, random acts of kindness and many more.

Your friend offers to pay the bill at a restaurant? Do you accept the blessing?...or do you try steal it away from them. A wise mentor and friend always said to me, "Keegan, don't steal my blessing," when he wanted to bless me for no reason.

Start accepting love in all its forms. And it is the most simple thing to know what it is:


1 Corinthians 13:4-7 4 " Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 


I love you all, may you have a blessed week.Write to me and tell me your story, share your testimony. 
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